Blast from da past

Something unknown force brought me back to view the old old oldddd entries I've archived in my previous, first ever blog.

I guess my previous blogging style was much funnier. Maybe because I was literally cussing every single word I could possibly thought of without much considerations. Partly because I had more brain cells to spare for blogging since I was only juggling with work and mainly work alone. I had all the time in the world, shopping and coffee gossips are the weekly mandatories.

So I thought maybe I'll showcase some of the past entries I've done.

Here's one I titled: Random jokes

One day, Little Johnny saw his mom lying on the bed naked and touch herself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"

The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

* * * * *
Sam: "Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?"
Teacher: "No, of course not."
Sam: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."

* * * * *
In a bar...
One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy,

- "Hey you look just like me!"

The other man agrees and asks,
- "Where are you from?"

The first guy answers,
- "Chicago."

- "Me too!" says the second guy, "What street do you live on?"

- "Forty-Ninth Street," answers the first guy.

- "Me too!" says the second guy, becoming increasingly excited. "What’s your address?"
- "951"

- "Me too! Wow, this is incredible! What are your parents’ names?"

- "John and Cathy," says the first guy.

- "Me too!" shouts the second guy. "I wonder if we’re related!?"

Meanwhile, the bartenders are changing shifts and the guy coming on asks if anything is new.
"No," says the first bartender, "just the Smith twins, drunk again."

* * * * *

Another: It's no later than 4.30pm now

Yep, the clock shows 4.19pm now. After going thru' so many of these I-dunno-what-am-I-doing hours and YOUR ARE TELLING ME ITS NOT EVEN 4.30pm??!

You're so kidding me man~

I'm literally having illusions of these papers fighting infront of me. Occasionally saying "Settle me first! Settle me first!!" in a highly squeaky voice, the paper behind the former will start taking my mechanical pencil and they both starts to fight.

"Settle me first! Settle me first...."

[Knif..err...pencils clanking]
*kiang kiang kiang, shank shank shank*

[staple bullet starts shooting and flying all over]
*tatatatatatatat*

[Former takes shield...err...eraser to shield those flying bullets. Staple bullets - From the latter]

[Bullets. Staple bullets - Get stuck on eraser]

[Latter hops on to the long ruler and attempts to flee!]
*Shhhhhhhhhhoooooooooo*

[Latter falls into dustbin]

And there it is, lying listless, inside the bin. Sobs. Let us all weep.

- Me: *Claps* Yay~ I'm left with 1 task lesser -




Ok, this is getting a lil' too morbid.

(Present: I have absolutely NO FREAKING IDEA what I was thinking. LOL.)