The tears

Despite being positive and alright now, the fact was I had a breakdown earlier on.

It was depressing. I spent the day before, mugging till dawn, yet nothing progressive. Made me wonder what was I really doing the whole time.

I spend 7 hours on a chapter, another 7 on another chapter. 14 hours spent and nothing seem to be absorbed? Ancient damnation.

Seldom, or rather, I've never experienced that. Crying while doing the revision, is insane. I never thought this subject was that much of a tough thing for me to handle. I wrote the notes, then realise it's not related, I scrunged the papers, I threw it one side.

And then I begin writing new note. Only to tear more of those paper made out of poor trees. (Yes I'm environmental conscious). It was the first time my study place was full of balls of papers.

The mess I've created made me more raging with frustration. I weeped in silent. (Hates letting my dad worry)

Meanie told me her similar experience too. I guess it's only normal to let the tears flow when you feel helpless...

K lah huh, I cried continuously for 1o minutes, cleaned up and went to get my lunch. I was throwing temper by not eating. Which is totally silly. Why bother to harm my own body when I need the energy to do so? Silly silly silly.

So, the silly got her lunch, along with ice-cream and 2 boxes of sweets. Dinner I requested for durian ice-kachang. Teeheehee. I never really like sweet stuffs. But I suppose it's alright to sin a lil considering I'm feeling so awful today.

You know, my brain still feels empty now. Even thou' I had close to 10 solid, full pages of notes (written all in 5 hours! stress sometimes do help...) scribbled, it feels cruelly empty.

I've never take subs before and never will I allow that to happen! I'll clear this even if the sky falls!! Yaksok!!

Alritey, time reads.. 12:21 now. I rest my case.